Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Defining Generosity

If you watch as much bad TV as I do, you probably remember the ubiquitous Lexus holiday commercials over the last few years that invariably featured a pristene stone house with a circular driveway, a dusting of new snow and a Lexus LS450 parked in front with a large bow tucked around the hood. The holiday gift was revealed when the blindfold was removed. All was good. Of course, I imagined more goodies under the tree that had already been opened: ivory cashmere throws, sterling serving pieces, silk shantung jackets and at least a few ironic, but nevertheless expensive, items that would elicit a chuckle from the shiny wife or shiny husband.

Over the last boom years, I never got the Lexus (damn it) but I certainly got and gave the gay male couple equivalent of the rest of it. I'll admit it. I loved every second of it. My beloved even took care of the charitable bit to the point it seemed like we were tithing.

Lap dissolve to 2008. He's in finance (laugh or feel sorry for me; I don't care) and I made the spectacularly well-timed decision to give up my steady public sector law gig for private practice.

I'm trying, like most folks, to rethink what it means to be generous - all of this without resorting to the easiest answers gleaned from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas or The Charlie Brown Christmas special. This is difficult. The last time I made something (chocolate truffles), I placed them under my parents' tree on Christmas Eve and by morning they were covered with ants that must have traveled down the trunk of the tree and looked heavenward at their good fortune.

This year, like so many of us, I have pared back. My mother convinced me that the best thing we could do this year was to give a family gift to the local food pantry and have a Recessionista Open House for Christmas - food-centered. I think she's right.

Maybe I'll even go to Midnight Mass this year. That would be a big stretch but if I can get past the politics, I might give it whirl.

Happy Holidays.